respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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