i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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