You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
