I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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