ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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