i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
