I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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