i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
