yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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