Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
