I saw his package. It spoke to me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
