this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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