do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
