He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
