He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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