Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
