you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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