Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
