I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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