i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
