I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize