i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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