Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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