so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
