Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
