It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
