Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
