Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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