The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize