I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
