I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
