look no pants
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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