she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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