I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
