If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
