I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize