his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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