I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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