He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
