I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize