Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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