every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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