Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
