Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
