I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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