from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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