yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
