I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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