whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
