# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
