You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my poor anus
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
