Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
