Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
did i just pee glitter
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
