we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
