ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
