y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
