wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We left the knife in your bed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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