u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
